Prologue – The Life We Almost Had

I do love a prologue (and writers you can read my previous post on whether to include one in your book here).

I’m delighted to share the opening of my debut contemporary fiction novel, ‘The Life We Almost Had,’ published under the pen name ‘Amelia Henley.’ I’ve absolutely loved writing Anna and Adam’s love story with a twist. (You can find it on Amazon here for just 99p right now).

 Prologue

Seven years. It’s been seven years since that night on the beach. I had laid on the damp sand with Adam, his thumb stroking mine. Dawn smudged the sky with its pink fingers while the rising sun flung glitter across the sea. We’d faced each other curled onto our sides, our bodies speech marks, unspoken words passing hesitantly between us; an illusory dream. Don’t ever leave me, I had silently asked him. I won’t, his eyes had silently replied.

But he did.

He has.

My memories are both painful and pleasurable to recall. We were blissfully happy until gradually we weren’t. Every cross word, every hard stare, each time we turned our backs on each other in bed gathered like storm clouds hanging over us, ready to burst, drenching us with doubt and uncertainty until we questioned what we once thought was unquestionable.

Can love really be eternal?

I can answer that now because the inequitable truth is that I am hopelessly, irrevocably, lost without him.

But does he feel the same?

I turn the possibility of life without Adam over but each time I think of me without him, no longer an us, my heart breaks all over again.

If only we hadn’t…

My chest tightens.

Breathe.

Breathe, Anna. You’re okay.

It’s a lie I tell myself but gradually the horror of that day begins to dissipate with every slow inhale, with every measured exhale. It takes several minutes to calm myself. My fingers furling and unfurling, my nails biting into the tender skin of my palms until my burning sorrow subsides.

Focus.

I am running out of time. I’ve been trying to write a letter but the words won’t come. My notepaper is still stark white. My pen once again poised, ink waiting to stain the blank page with my tenuous excuses.

My secrets.

But not my lies. There’s been enough of those. Too many.

I am desperate to see him once more and make it right.

All of it.

I wish I knew what he wanted. My eyes flutter closed. I try to conjure his voice. Imagining he might tell me what to do. Past conversations echo in my mind as I search for a clue.

If you love someone, set them free. He had once told me but I brush the thought of this away. I don’t think it can apply to this awful situation we have found ourselves in. Instead I recall the feel of his body spooned around mine, warm breath on the back of my neck, promises drifting into my ear.

Forever.

I cling on to that one word as tightly as I’d once clung on to his hand.

I loved him completely. I still do. Whatever happens now, after, my heart will still belong to him.

Will always belong to him.

I must hurry if I’m going to reach him before it’s too late. There’s a tremble in my fingers as I begin the letter which will both an apology and an explanation, but it seems impossible to put it all into words – the story of us. I really don’t have time to think of the life we had – the life we almost had – but I allow myself the indulgence. Memories gather: we’re on the beach watching the sunrise; I’m introducing him to my mum – his voice shaking with nerves as he said hello; we’re meeting for the first time in that shabby bar. Out of order and back to front and more than anything I wish I could live it all again. Except that day. Never that day.

Again the vice around my lungs tightens. In my mind I see it all unfold and I feel it. I feel it all; fear, panic, despair.

Breathe, Anna.

In and out. In and out. Until I am here again, Pen gripped too tightly in my hand.

Focus.

I made a mistake.

I stare at the words I have written so intently that they jump around on the page. I’m at a loss to know how to carry on when I remember one of the first things Adam had said to me ‘start at the beginning, Anna.’

And so I do.

Speedily, the nib of my pen scratches over the paper. I let it all pour out.

This is not a typical love story, but it’s our love story.

Mine and Adam’s.

And despite that day, despite everything, I’m not yet ready for it to end.

Is he?

The Life We Almost Had‘ is currently 99p across all digital platforms during August. Download it from Amazon, iBooks, Kobo or Google.

You can preorder the paperback from Amazon or Waterstones or support your local bookstore. 

 

Publication day & it isn’t quite what I’d thought…

 

Ever since I read Little Women as a child I’ve dreamed of publishing an emotive story that will make readers cry…. that day has come! My debut contemporary fiction novel, ‘The Life We Almost Had‘ (written under my pen name Amelia Henley) is landing on people’s kindles RIGHT NOW across the UK (other countries to follow). Although the early Netgalley and blogger reviews have been amazing it’s still a nerve wracking time for a writer. It sounds mean but each time a reader has emailed me to say the story made them cry I’ve been secretly pleased.

Launching a debut during a pandemic has meant there have been no promotional events, no physical book launch, and many stores right now are only taking stock from established writers but these are small issues comparatively speaking and I feel so grateful to everyone who has worked so hard behind the scenes to keep producing books during these unsettled times. I take great comfort in fiction, as I know others do too.

I’d had the idea of Adam and Anna’s emotional love story while I was on holiday in Lanzarote but as I was already contracted to writing thrillers I tried to put it out of my mind.

I couldn’t.

Their story was so unusual it was impossible not to think about it and so I decided to write it in my spare time. (Full time job – writing. Hobby – writing. I really am quite boring…). There was such a sense of freedom exploring their relationship which has so many twists and turns, without a contract I didn’t have to think about the confines of genre or how commercial it was.

My research took me from Lanzarote to Magdalen College in Oxford where I studied consciousness and neuroscience (did I mention this isn’t a typical love story) and if I’d a publisher waiting for it I might have been hesitant about incorporating technology into my story but I followed my heart and wrote the book I’d love to read and I am immensely proud of it.

I feel so blessed that when it was finished my editor loved it and offered to publish it even though I wasn’t entirely sure what genre to describe it was – ‘At it’s heart, it’s an epic, heart wrenching love story,’ she said and it is. One filled with hope, loyalty, courage and friendship that asks how far you’d go for a second chance at first love.

It will be hard letting go of Adam and Anna and this story which was inspired by, and dedicated to, my wonderful brother-in-law Glyn who we sadly lost during lockdown, 2 days before my paperbacks arrived I wish he were here to see his name on the dedication page and know how much he meant to me. I shall be raising a glass to him tonight on this bittersweet day.

These are such strange times we are living in. Stay safe and keep reading.

Louise x

The Life We Almost Had‘ is on Amazon here as an ebook, paperback and audiobook or support your local bookstore who can order a copy in. (Paperback Publication 4th September).

 

The paperbacks I didn’t want to hold…

A couple of days ago my dreams came true when a big box arrived from Harper Collins publishers. I knew it was my debut love story, ‘The Life We Almost Had’ which publishes this July under the pen name ‘Amelia Henley’.

“But that’s not your name”, says Granger.

As this is a completely different genre for me my editor wanted to keep this strand of publishing separate to my thrillers (of which a new one, The Stolen Sisters, is coming soon…)

Usually, I’d unbox my books within seconds but, because of the virus, I cautiously left them by the front door until this morning.

The cover is beautiful and I couldn’t be prouder of this unusual love story featuring Adam and Anna, characters who will always stay with me. This novel is, in part, set on a Spanish Island based on Lanzarote which is one of my favourite places in the world. It’s a story of love, loyalty, hope and courage and asks how far you’d go for a second chance. The risk Anna takes could have potentially devastating consequences…

I’m thrilled that early reviews have been so positive and I can’t wait to get this story into the hands of readers. The ebook and audio will be published next month, with the paperback coming in September. All available to preorder now in the UK from Amazon here, or from your local bookshop.

Here’s the blurb: –

This is not a typical love story, but it’s our love story.

Anna wasn’t looking for love when Adam swept her off her feet but there was no denying their connection, and she believed they would be together forever.

Years later, cracks have appeared in their relationship. Anna is questioning whether their love can really be eternal when a cruel twist of fate delivers a crushing blow, and Anna and Adam are completely lost to one another. Now, Anna needs Adam more than ever, but the way back to him has life-changing consequences.

Is a second chance at first love really worth the sacrifice? Anna needs to decide and time is running out…

Book Review – The Swap – Fiona Mitchell

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Ever since I read The Maid’s Room, which I gushed about here, I’ve been waiting eagerly for Fiona Mitchell’s second book, The Swap.

And oh how it was worth the wait! Fiona has crafted an emotive and credible read centred around Tess who, during her IVF treatment, had her embryo mistakenly swapped for a stranger’s. For two years Tess and Annie, the other woman, have been unknowingly raising each other’s children.

Tess has never bonded with her son, Freddie, so when she meets Annie’s daughter, Willow, she’s determined she and Annie swap their children back. But Annie won’t let go of Willow without a fight.

Harrowing in parts, but uplifting in others, Fiona keeps the pace constant, never letting the story become pulled down by legal jargon, although it is obvious she’s carried out much research. For the last half an hour of reading, I was literally holding my breath. How could this story ever reach a satisfying conclusion, given its challenging subject matter? You’ll have to read it to find out but I thought the ending was absolutely perfect.

The Swap is deeply moving and beautifully written.  Although we’re only in January this will likely be my top read for 2019. I can’t recommend it enough. Due for publication in April – you can pre-order a copy here.