Prologue – The Life We Almost Had

I do love a prologue (and writers you can read my previous post on whether to include one in your book here).

I’m delighted to share the opening of my debut contemporary fiction novel, ‘The Life We Almost Had,’ published under the pen name ‘Amelia Henley.’ I’ve absolutely loved writing Anna and Adam’s love story with a twist. (You can find it on Amazon here for just 99p right now).

 Prologue

Seven years. It’s been seven years since that night on the beach. I had laid on the damp sand with Adam, his thumb stroking mine. Dawn smudged the sky with its pink fingers while the rising sun flung glitter across the sea. We’d faced each other curled onto our sides, our bodies speech marks, unspoken words passing hesitantly between us; an illusory dream. Don’t ever leave me, I had silently asked him. I won’t, his eyes had silently replied.

But he did.

He has.

My memories are both painful and pleasurable to recall. We were blissfully happy until gradually we weren’t. Every cross word, every hard stare, each time we turned our backs on each other in bed gathered like storm clouds hanging over us, ready to burst, drenching us with doubt and uncertainty until we questioned what we once thought was unquestionable.

Can love really be eternal?

I can answer that now because the inequitable truth is that I am hopelessly, irrevocably, lost without him.

But does he feel the same?

I turn the possibility of life without Adam over but each time I think of me without him, no longer an us, my heart breaks all over again.

If only we hadn’t…

My chest tightens.

Breathe.

Breathe, Anna. You’re okay.

It’s a lie I tell myself but gradually the horror of that day begins to dissipate with every slow inhale, with every measured exhale. It takes several minutes to calm myself. My fingers furling and unfurling, my nails biting into the tender skin of my palms until my burning sorrow subsides.

Focus.

I am running out of time. I’ve been trying to write a letter but the words won’t come. My notepaper is still stark white. My pen once again poised, ink waiting to stain the blank page with my tenuous excuses.

My secrets.

But not my lies. There’s been enough of those. Too many.

I am desperate to see him once more and make it right.

All of it.

I wish I knew what he wanted. My eyes flutter closed. I try to conjure his voice. Imagining he might tell me what to do. Past conversations echo in my mind as I search for a clue.

If you love someone, set them free. He had once told me but I brush the thought of this away. I don’t think it can apply to this awful situation we have found ourselves in. Instead I recall the feel of his body spooned around mine, warm breath on the back of my neck, promises drifting into my ear.

Forever.

I cling on to that one word as tightly as I’d once clung on to his hand.

I loved him completely. I still do. Whatever happens now, after, my heart will still belong to him.

Will always belong to him.

I must hurry if I’m going to reach him before it’s too late. There’s a tremble in my fingers as I begin the letter which will both an apology and an explanation, but it seems impossible to put it all into words – the story of us. I really don’t have time to think of the life we had – the life we almost had – but I allow myself the indulgence. Memories gather: we’re on the beach watching the sunrise; I’m introducing him to my mum – his voice shaking with nerves as he said hello; we’re meeting for the first time in that shabby bar. Out of order and back to front and more than anything I wish I could live it all again. Except that day. Never that day.

Again the vice around my lungs tightens. In my mind I see it all unfold and I feel it. I feel it all; fear, panic, despair.

Breathe, Anna.

In and out. In and out. Until I am here again, Pen gripped too tightly in my hand.

Focus.

I made a mistake.

I stare at the words I have written so intently that they jump around on the page. I’m at a loss to know how to carry on when I remember one of the first things Adam had said to me ‘start at the beginning, Anna.’

And so I do.

Speedily, the nib of my pen scratches over the paper. I let it all pour out.

This is not a typical love story, but it’s our love story.

Mine and Adam’s.

And despite that day, despite everything, I’m not yet ready for it to end.

Is he?

The Life We Almost Had‘ is currently 99p across all digital platforms during August. Download it from Amazon, iBooks, Kobo or Google.

You can preorder the paperback from Amazon or Waterstones or support your local bookstore. 

 

Behind the scenes of an audiobook recording – #WelcomeToTheFamily

 

Saturday was a very special day for me. I travelled to London to ID Studio to both observe the recording of the audiobook for The Family and to record my own acknowledgments, reader letter and book club questions.

I was met by Rebecca from the Harper Collins Audio Team who was super smiley and far too happy for somebody who had generously given up half of her weekend so I could cross something off of my publishing bucket list.

Inside the studio, the first person I saw looked so much like the Laura I had imagined as I wrote her it seemed too perfect to hope that she might be narrating her but she was! Helen Keeley said hello and thankfully I loved the tone of her voice because I am absolutely no good at masking my emotions.

Emma who works directly for the studio and is a whizz at everything led me to the booth and told me I’d be recording my bit first.

I was super conscious that due to the tight turnaround needed everyone was working the weekend and I was oddly calm (for me) as I vowed to do it in one take.

I didn’t.

Through my headphones, I could disconcertingly hear both myself (do I really sound like that?) and Emma in the studio who was giving me instructions.

The words I thought would phase me (why oh why did I put ‘totalitarian’ in my reader letter) didn’t but for some reason, I was rendered unable to pronounce ‘fifth’ and that word took three attempts. Emma had that wonderful Irish calmness and reassured me (lied) that I was doing okay. Voicing my acknowledgments, thanking my friends and family, as well as everyone who has been instrumental in bringing The Family to life, was so emotive. All too soon my part was over and it was time to settle back and watch Helen in action.

I left the booth and went into the main studio where I could both see and hear Helen. Emma told her to pick up where she had previously left off and… instant panic (I thought my lack of anxiety was strange). Sweat prickled as inside my mind looped the same six words.

Please don’t be a sex scene.

Please don’t be a sex scene.

Please don’t be a sex scene.

Fortunately, it wasn’t (I would totally have had to leave!) Instead Helen kicked off with Chapter Eight which is one of my favourite chapters. It’s the point in the book where Laura has reached rock bottom and this chapter is instrumental in her deciding moving to the commune is her only option. The emotion in Helen’s voice as she read was staggering – you can listen to the thirty-second clip I sneakily recorded below) and my eyes welled with tears (see above – I CANNOT mask my emotions).

Before long we’d reached the point in the story where Laura reaches the commune. As the story is set in Wales I had written the signposts outside of Oak Leaf Farm in both Welsh and English. At this point, Helen paused to listen to the correct pronunciations on her phone before she effortlessly parroted them but I felt awful for not considering as I wrote my story the potential difficulties a narrator might face. I WILL bear this in mind in the future!

After the recording stopped it was great to chat with Helen, Emma, and Rebecca about the audiobook process. I learned that it is the studio that sends over samples of narrators they think will be suitable for certain parts to the publisher (The Family has three narrators for each of the viewpoints).  After narrators are selected it’s a case of liaising with their agents and scheduling their availability with studio availability, always bearing in mind the publication date of the book.

It’s quicker than I thought to record a book – roughly speaking a day is allowed per hundred pages.

As the narrator reads the text is checked by at least one person. While I was there both Emma and Rebecca were reading along to make sure Helen wasn’t inadvertently skipping words or sentences (she wasn’t) as well as catching any last-minute errors in the manuscript.

Every now and then, Helen would ask to redo something and Emma, using Protools software would skip back, deleting previous words. She regularly added markers for beginnings of chapters to make it easy for the next stage – the editing.

This is where the book is tidied up. Any background sound, breathing, swallowing, pops on the mike, etc. is cut out and the whole thing is listened to and checked again. Any last minute pick-ups can sometimes mean the narrators have to rerecord certain bits before it is mastered and finally turned into an audiobook which is sent to the publisher who sends it out to retailers.

I am so grateful to my editor, Manpreet,  for arranging this experience – it meant such a lot to me, and for the team for putting up with me on a Saturday. It is genuinely something I shall never forget.

As I left, I asked Helen what was the thing she most enjoyed about narrating audiobooks.

‘I get a chance to play parts I might not otherwise be cast as,’ she said. ‘Although in your story I’m Laura, in her point of view I have to sometimes portray Alex. There’s no way I’d ever usually get to play the part of a male, Welsh, cult leader.’

She has a point.

‘The Family’ will be published as an ebook on 25th September and on paperback and audio on 3rd October. You can preorder in all formats here.

Do join me at my live Facebook launch party where I’ll be giving away both singed copies of my books, as well as a bundle donated by HQ stories. I’ll also be answering your questions on writing and books. You can find the event here.

#WelcomeToTheFamily

#GIVEAWAY – Audiobook of The Gift

the-gift-audiobook-give-away

I am so incredibly grateful for all the support I’ve been shown during the launch of my second novel, The Gift, and absolutely delighted it has now been No.1 on Amazon in the UK for over 4 weeks and is in the Top 10 in Psychological Thrillers in the US, as well as debuting on the USA Today BestSellers List this week.

As a thank you I am giving away two audio versions of the book, narrated by the super talented Jasmine Blackborow (I’ll supply codes which can be redeemed on Audible). To enter either click this link to my Facebook post to nominate someone you would like to gift a copy of the audiobook to, or follow this link to my Twitter page and retweet to win a copy for yourself (you can enter both if you wish).

The competition is open to all and winners will be generated at random on Sunday 22nd January.

Thanks again.

Louise x