Photo prompt – Dawn Miller
Him
‘I need to find out who I am,’ she can’t meet my eye.
I want to tell her I know who she is; the love of my life. I want to tell her I’ve spent weeks organising a flash mob to dance her perfect proposal, but I don’t. I watch her leave.
I have my dignity, even if I don’t have her.
Her
I tell him I’m leaving and my heart actually breaks. But he’s been avoiding me. My friends have seen him out with a bunch of girls. I walk away.
I have my dignity, even if I don’t have him.
‘The Journey’ was written for Friday Fictioneers. A weekly 100 word story challenge prompted by the fabulous Rochelle. Do read the other entries and/or post your own story.
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Dual viewpoint. Misunderstanding. Perfectly rendered
Thanks for reading Neil.
Star-crossed lovers, modern day style. Lovely!
Thanks for reading Sandra
A classic misunderstanding through lack of communication. Says a lot about the world today.
It does. They’ll probably tweet their angst…
Oh no, a misunderstanding leading to such heartache on both sides. Such a shame.
They could always try that talking thing…
Wouldn’t that be a good plan? 😉
Brave and ambitious to write your story from a dual pov, but you pull it off wonderfully.
Thanks Penny
Oof! It’s awful to break up over a misunderstanding like that. But then again, if they lacked the skills to explain themselves well enough to clear the air, they might not have been ready for marriage anyway.
Very true!
No! Crossed wires and no ones communicating. I loved the way you organized your story.
Thanks Brenda!
sad. commitment is about taking risks and neither of them is willing to take it.
Indeed
So typical! Open communication is so much better, don’t you think? This secretive stuff, especially in the early stages is so dangerous.
Very dangerous but the stuff of stories!
Truth!
Ah, damn ‘ole pride! Brilliant write.
Thanks Lisa!
Perhaps a perfect answer to that new thing called Public Proposals! What’s that all about, anyway. Well done.
Hehe – yes but I have always wanted to see a flash mob!
Oh, this is great. I’m absolutely fixed on dual-viewpoint stories and well done for achieving such an entertaining one in a hundred words.
Thanks Jilly, my novel I’m working on right now has a dual narrative so I needed the practice!
Well that’s a novel I will read, I hope.
Thank you! It’s another year before The Family will be published but I’m loving playing with a different structure.
Hopefully, they will both read this and realise their mistakes!
Click to read my FriFic tale!
Haha yes! Thanks Keith.
misunderstandings and one can’t even do anything
They could talk
Too bad, both boy and girl could not overcome their pride and speak the truth to each other.
It is! Thanks for reading Abhijit
Dear Louise,
I hope they can straighten out this misunderstanding before it’s too late. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
Aw, geeze. A little Victor Hugo style there.
Thanks for reading
Pride commeth, and leaves only losers in it’s wake. Nice write.
Thanks Violet
Yes, I know this one, two people on different trains going in opposite direction.
Yep
Oh.. those parallel tracks… I wonder how often this really happens. Fear is a terrible thing…
It is indeed.
I like the way you managed to fit two perspectives into the story and still keep to the word count while creating an interesting vignette. Well done
Thanks very much
Communication people! Geez! (lol)
Ugh…I hate when signals get crossed and misinterpreted like that. I wanted to explain it to both of them :). I hope they get a chance to talk and work it out. I really liked reading the “Him” and “Her” versions.
Thanks so much for reading Kira!
We don’t talk to one another like we used to. Too busy on the cell phone!
I know I’m late but ughh! I’m going to be thinking about this one all day, I’m a sucker for tragic miscommunication
Me too – thanks for reading!