Sometimes #FlashFiction

Image courtesy of CEAYR

 

Sometimes I wonder if it would have made a difference if you’d told me somewhere else. Somewhere beautiful. Whether sitting cross legged next to the bubbling stream, sunlight dappling the water would have softened the blow. Do you remember our picnic there? Warm breeze kissing our skin, your lips kissing my neck? It was perfect until we opened the picnic hamper. Wasps buzzing around our sandwiches, ants marching towards the jam jar.

Sorry, I’m drifting. That always did annoy you, didn’t it? But did the ugliness of our surroundings coax those ugly words out of your mouth? I still wonder. Sometimes.

 

It’s been a week for celebrating! The Gift was listed in Amazon’s half yearly trends report as the third biggest selling ebook of 2017 so far and Sphere (Little, Brown Book Group) shared the exciting news they will be republishing The Sister on August 24th and it will be available in retailers for the first time. You can read my post about that here. It’s been an incredible year and I’m so grateful. I wouldn’t have honed my writing without Friday Fictioneers. 

‘Sometimes’ was written For Friday Fictioneers. A weekly 100 word story challenge inspired by a photo prompt. You can join in over at host Rochelle’s blog here.

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52 thoughts on “Sometimes #FlashFiction

  1. I like the way you use setting to tell the story. The wasps and the ants at the picnic show that even then the relationship was wobbling.
    Congratulations on ‘The Gift’!

  2. I feel for your character, her pain so deep that’s it’s making her contemplate as to what would have made it lesser .
    If it’s something that ugly, I don’t think the setting can alter the impact . But may be , that’s just me .
    Congratulations on the success of your book! 🙂So happy for you.

  3. Gorgeous atmosphere, Louise. A feeling of unhurriedness, a slow examination of their relationship and the impact of what he said – whatever that was! You packed so much emotion into so few words and I’m still wondering how you did it. Lovely work.
    And well done on more success. So pleased for you.

  4. Congrats for your well-earned success. I’ve yet to read The Gift but liked The Sister a lot.
    I don’t think the setting would soften the blow, it would, if possible, make her even more bitter. The sadness and disappointment is very clear.

  5. Congrats on The Gift (as you know, I enjoyed it…)!
    As for the story, the prettiest setting would have ended up sounding ugly, with whatever those horrid words are, methinks. Very atmospheric indeed.

  6. Will be an awesome moment to see it on the bookshelves in the shops! Congratulations. A beautiful spot might just have delayed the inevitable ugly words from coming.

Constructive criticism appreciated

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