Image Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The amber sun reflects in water that shimmers green, blue and grey. I swipe clouds of midges away from my strawberry ice-cream. It was always your favourite flavour.
We used to come here Ella, do you remember? Your small fingers curled around mine. Autumn was always the best. Booted feet stamping through piles of red-gold leaves. Tossing stales crusts at the snapping ducks.
If I close my eyes I can almost hear your giggle, as you swung like a monkey between your mum and me. I wish you’d understand it was her I left, not you.
I miss you.
It’s been such a relief this week to finally hear the audio version of The Sister. I’d been dreading listening to my story read aloud and you can find out why here.
The Lake was written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Hop over to host Rochelle’s blog and read the other entries here.
Perhaps when she’s older. Another casualty of failed relationships. Well done.
Hopefully so. Thanks.
There is always a reason for separation, and you left me wondering what it might be.
Oohh something dark perhaps!
Sometimes people never truly reconnect with a separated parent, but your narrator sounds as if he wants to try to build bridges. Heartbreakingly told and I love the details – ice cream, midges, stamping in leaves – makes the whole thing come to life.
Lovely take on the prompt.
Thanks Lynn. It’s such a sad situation.
I feel like they’re relationship was special. Nice one, Louise.
Thanks!
An amazingly heart-rending story told in beautiful imagery.
Thanks so much.
Beautiful story! For some reason, I was thinking the narrator was the grandmother. 🙂
She was going to be but ran out of words!
Really? I guess it works both ways. 🙂
I needed about another 50 words to pull off what I wanted to
Really enjoyed the feel of this piece. For me it doesn’t actually need the last para i.e. I’ll miss you.
Good luck with your book.
Thanks very much Paul. I had three extra words left 😃
Beautifully sad piece of writing 🙂
Thanks Helen
Breakups are rough, especially when children aren’t directly involved. The guilt that guy must be feeling!
Stellar, Louise, positively wonderful!
By the way, what are “midges?”
Thanks 😃 Midges are tiny flies that swarm around water.
Oh. Gnats or a species thereof. Gee, I learned something new. Thanks!
You’re welcome 😃
So much love and heartbreak in 100 words, well told.
Thanks Siobhan.
If only parents could find a common ground for the sake of children. Too often it is quite the opposite. Loved the soft voice of your story.
Thanks Lore. It’s such a sad situation.
I think there’s hope for this dad and the child. The love comes through so clearly with the details in the memories. These are things the child can relate to, not something abstract. Lovely story.
Thanks very much. Love will conquer!
The sad reality of divorce. Well written as always. I hope the book launch goes well.
Tracey
Thanks Tracey.
Oh, there is so much said in this. Well done.
Thanks Alicia.
Until the last line I assumed the child had died – somehow the ending made me feel even sadder. Great piece!
Oh! That’s not good 😞
A sad situation, but a least the dad wants to keep in touch with his daughter. Hopefully, she’ll understand when she’s older. Good story, Louise. I saw your book as a new July release in the Mystery & Thriller section of Goodreads. That’s great. Congratulations. 🙂 — Suzanne
Ooh was it? That’s exciting. Thanks for letting me know Suzanne x
You’re most welcome, Louise. It must be really exciting. 🙂 — Suzanne
It is – seems like something new happening every day!
Great imagery that leaves us with a very sad image at the end. Brillant
Thanks – it is a tad depressing now I read it back.
I assumed the narrator to be the father as well. For the scenario of it being the grandma, what went on that a mother would leave her own daughter?
I’m not sure. It was very pleasant!
An eternal story of separation. Well done.
Brillant as always Louise.
Thanks Clare!
Heartwarming and heartbreaking.
Thank you!
Dear Louise,
Divorce is hard enough, but it’s tougher still with children caught in the middle. Very well done. Best wishes with your book launch.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle.
Lovely.
Wonderful use of details to show how he remembers and misses his daughter. Beautifully portrayed and very tragic. Good news about your audio book. Congrats. Glad your fears were unfounded.
Thanks Margaret on all counts x