Flash Fiction – He Rocks

waves

Image © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

‘You,’ the roadie says, his breath hot and sour. Other fans glare as I’m led backstage. Smoke and sweat string my throat. OMG! There he is! Jack! He pulls me onto his lap and I’ve never been so happy.

***

He’s bought me a new phone! Mum kept ringing. Begging.

‘A Levels are for kids,’ Jack says as he tightens the strap around my arm. Euphoria floods my veins. I’ve never been so happy.

***

The doctor snaps on gloves. My feet are in stirrups. ‘A simple procedure’ Jack says, handing me a bracelet. Diamonds! Me! I don’t know why I’m crying. I’ve never been so happy.

 

Unlike my poor main character I am so happy today that The Sister is currently no. 9 in Psychological Thrillers on Amazon . Big thanks to everyone that has preordered and all the book bloggers who have reviewed. The ebook still available for an introductory price of £0.99 prior to it’s July 7th release, when it will also be available as a paperback and audio book.

‘He Rocks’ was written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Hop over to host Rochelle’s blog and read the other entries here

 

 

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51 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – He Rocks

  1. I think you’ve done a really fantastic job of telling a fairly comprehensive story in so few words! I think the repetition works, and the euphoria flooding her veins was a well placed metaphor.

  2. A concisely written, well structured tragedy. Love the weeping and self deluded cries of happiness – sad but clever. And congrats on your success with The Sister – a great achievement and well done 🙂

  3. So much to say about this, so vivid in each scene. So well written it makes you feel more and more for her with each section.

  4. A very chilling piece. You packed so much in, but not so much that it felt cluttered. I can feel the girl’s internal struggle – is this a good thing or not?
    Great piece!

  5. Wow, Louise! You packed punch on that one. The ironies abound throughout. It’s almost like the rock star did what he did because he could. This sounded like the story (almost) of the former girlfriend of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler who got her pregnant, but she kept the baby who, I think, might have been Olivia. Anyway, good story!

  6. I found your story to be very disturbing and chilling, especially that last bit. Poor girl!
    The contrast between the three sections stopped me in my tracks.
    Euphoria flooding her veins is a great image and metaphor.

  7. So sad. I wonder if we’re doing any better these days at building up the self-confidence of little girls so they’re not such easy prey to types like Jack. What a world. You’ve captured it so convincingly, Louise. And congratulations on your book’s success.

Constructive criticism appreciated

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