Flash Fiction – One for sorrow

grey-day-with-pigeons-roger-bultot

Image courtesy of Roger Bultot

 

I missed last weeks Friday Fictioneers. I was wrapped up in rewriting ‘The Sister’, crafting a version suitable for my 10 year old son. He’s so eager to read my debut but being a psychological thriller I didn’t think it was appropriate for him. He now has a special version all of his own!

 

‘I’m sorry.’ I whisper.

‘Why did you do it?’ Your tone is soft and you stretch out a hand but I shrug it away. Anger I could cope with. Sympathy will make me cry.

I breathe in apple blossom, curl my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. You deserve an explanation at the very least. I open my mouth but the words won’t come. They’re stuck in my constricted throat, along with shame and guilt.

Sirens slice through the birdsong. I stand brushing grass from my skirt and for the very last time I kiss you goodbye.

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Hop over to host Rochelle’s blog and read the other entries here. 

44 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – One for sorrow”

  1. Lucky son with his own version!
    Oh! And to leave us hanging like this!!! Whatever did she do?? Great story, Louise!

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  2. Ooh, what did she do? Nothing good, judging by the sirens. You set the scene well.
    It’s lovely of you to rework your book for your son 🙂

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  5. First, I think it’s wonderful that your kids love to read. I thought about writing something special for my kids that will encourage them to read. But I think that’s wishful thinking. Anyway, I loved your story. It’s beautifully written and gripping. I think it was fine to cut it off at the end. It’s hard to have a complete story in 100 words.

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  9. Gulp. This is gripping and just a bit scary. It reads like violence and murder, but the forgiveness and kissing good-bye… I don’t want to meet this narrator. And it’s great that your young son gets his own version of your book.

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  12. Dark as dark as dark can be but great descriptions, the apple blossom and brushing the grass off are fantastic contrasts to the darkness making the whole very powerful.

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  14. This is, as so many have already said, a very gripping and engaging story. You’ve captured, tension, shame, grief, perhaps regret with such few words, yet so elegantly – wonderful! And oh yeah, curiosity says “well, what what?” but as a complete story holding its own – it works perfectly. Well done 🙂

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Thanks so much for reading!