Flash Fiction – One for sorrow

grey-day-with-pigeons-roger-bultot

Image courtesy of Roger Bultot

 

I missed last weeks Friday Fictioneers. I was wrapped up in rewriting ‘The Sister’, crafting a version suitable for my 10 year old son. He’s so eager to read my debut but being a psychological thriller I didn’t think it was appropriate for him. He now has a special version all of his own!

 

‘I’m sorry.’ I whisper.

‘Why did you do it?’ Your tone is soft and you stretch out a hand but I shrug it away. Anger I could cope with. Sympathy will make me cry.

I breathe in apple blossom, curl my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. You deserve an explanation at the very least. I open my mouth but the words won’t come. They’re stuck in my constricted throat, along with shame and guilt.

Sirens slice through the birdsong. I stand brushing grass from my skirt and for the very last time I kiss you goodbye.

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Hop over to host Rochelle’s blog and read the other entries here

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44 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – One for sorrow

  1. Ooh, what did she do? Nothing good, judging by the sirens. You set the scene well.
    It’s lovely of you to rework your book for your son 🙂

  2. First, I think it’s wonderful that your kids love to read. I thought about writing something special for my kids that will encourage them to read. But I think that’s wishful thinking. Anyway, I loved your story. It’s beautifully written and gripping. I think it was fine to cut it off at the end. It’s hard to have a complete story in 100 words.

  3. Gulp. This is gripping and just a bit scary. It reads like violence and murder, but the forgiveness and kissing good-bye… I don’t want to meet this narrator. And it’s great that your young son gets his own version of your book.

  4. Dark as dark as dark can be but great descriptions, the apple blossom and brushing the grass off are fantastic contrasts to the darkness making the whole very powerful.

  5. This is, as so many have already said, a very gripping and engaging story. You’ve captured, tension, shame, grief, perhaps regret with such few words, yet so elegantly – wonderful! And oh yeah, curiosity says “well, what what?” but as a complete story holding its own – it works perfectly. Well done 🙂

Constructive criticism appreciated

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