Flash Fiction – Dirty Old Town

emmylgant

Photo courtesy of Emmy L Gant

I could have ran and ran with this one. I hope it makes some sort of sense as it stands!

 

Cold rain splattered into Jack’s eyes as he drank in the skyline. He loved this town.

He’d been coming up here since he was a boy. He’d sit cross-legged, tossing stale crusts to the pigeons wishing he were as free as them. It was a different world almost to the one he usually inhabited, where his Mum cried and his Dad clipped him round the ear almost every-time he saw him.

How did it all go so wrong? Jack wanted to make a difference. People would never forgive him and as he inched towards the edge and splayed out his arms, he wondered if it would feel like flying.

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers – A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt – read the other entries via host Rochelle’s blog here.

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72 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – Dirty Old Town

  1. There’s something great about the atmosphere of an old familiar town in the early morning which you’ve captured really well. Memories and regrets and sorrow. Nicely done, but I see you’re back to the dark side.

  2. You always grab me so quickly, I can see, hear and feel within a few of your words, so I am a bit gutted that he has probably taken the plunge, but happy to hear you may run with this story :0) please do.

  3. So sad that he’s given up hope of making a difference or achieving any kind of happiness. He must be in tremendous pain. Would love to see an expanded version of this story.

  4. This is so sad, but also so intriguing. It reminds me of a crime film I saw on (German) TV the other day about a horrible young man who committed heinous crimes–but his emotional turmoil was so well told we got into his head, and when he jumped off a building, viewers were sad despite his crimes. Whatever you do with this, it’s certainly worth exploring. Great writing.

  5. I’d like to imagine he’s a base jumper and is wearing a wing suit for the first time. It makes for a much happier ending.

  6. Poor man. He’s depressed because of his troubled upbringing and needs help. I hope he doesn’t actually jump. A person that depressed is their own worst enemy. Well done, Louise. —- Suzanne

Constructive criticism appreciated

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