Photo courtesy of Erin Leary
The car slows and stops. It’s as beautiful here as it looked on the photo. As beautiful as Chloe. Today is the day I’ll drive away thoughts of Romantic Rob, her ex. She’ll see there’s more to me than taking out the bins and hogging the TV remote.
My back is sore after the two-hour drive. I stretch. My blood’s fizzing with excitement. The picnic is hidden in the boot. The ring-box in my pocket.
We step out the car. The water is rancid. The buzzing of flies deafening. Chloe retches, my heart sinks and Rob’s ghost wins again.
I’m stepping away from the dark side this week! Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story based on a photo prompt. Hop over to host Rochelle’s blog to check out the other entries.
Exciting news! Our very own Sandra Crook has taken first place in Flash 500 (I feel strangely proud – not that I had anything to do with it!) You can read her fabulous story here.
fabricating fiction 
It’s the thought that counts, surely? 🙂
Maybe he should have done some recon first. Great story!
Thanks.I guess he tried!
How disappointing. The best laid plans…..
It’s often better left in your mind. Thanks for reading Ruth.
Damn that Romantic Rob! Nothing is so formidable as the memory of an ex-lover. Nicely done.
The grass is always greener… thanks for reading.
I don’t think he should be trying to compete with Romantic Rob. The description of the scene at the end is so graphic I feel positively unwell.
Not quite the romantic setting he had in mind!
Poor guy! Thanks for the great story.
Thanks very much.
You are most welcome!
Sounds like your unnamed narrator was kind of romantic too.
There is no way on can compete with a ghost. Nicely written story.
Thanks.
poor chap, he can’t win her if he loses heart easily.
Very true. Thanks.
Poor guy. He needs to stop trying to be better than rob and just try to be the best person he can be.
As we all do. Thanks Dawn.
Aww, that’s sad! But, really, he may want to ask some tip from Rob instead? 🙂
That would probably be a good idea!
But then again, maybe he has a different definition of what a ‘romantic’ date is. 😀
As we all do 🙂
As we all do… 🙂 🙂
What Dawn said! Poor bugger…
Thanks Dale.
I like the build up to the event and the way you write the let down. Also, we all know paradise comes with its bugs!
It does indeed. Thanks for reading.
Dear Louise,
I feel so bad for this guy. It’s certainly not for lack of trying. Hard to propose to a girl who’s busy retching. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
Oh that poor guy. I hope she has a sense of humour. The name romantic Rob alone gives me the creeps. LOL.
It is a bit nauseating!
OMG! So funny! And I had such high hopes for the narrator.
Me too! Thanks Alicia.
disappointments never end
Thanks for reading.
Always recce the place, dammit. That’s Rule #6. The man’s a fool. Give me Rob anytime. And what’s that special about Chloe anyhow?
I’d love to know the first 5 rules 🙂
Oh, I was so rooting for him. Great set up of the story for the unexpected turn. Nice one, Louise!
Thanks Amy.
As everyone has said you have to feel for the guy, he’s on a hiding to nothing. Impossible to win but he keeps on trying. Sad.
It is sad.
Oh, how disappointing! This is a great story, Louise – the hopeful build-up, the hint of a back story in ‘the ex’ and then the crash at the end. I feel so sorry for him.
Me too – I hope she’s worth it!
Oh, poor unlucky fella…hope things work out. Glad to see you step away from the darkness, it suits you well. 🙂
Thanks Lore
Poor guy! He just can’t win for trying…
At least he’s trying!