Image – Roger Bultot
Every cell in my body screams at me to carry on walking, but my feet are rooted to the spot, and I can’t wrench my eyes away from the light pouring from the cottage. Unbidden, my hand darts to the latch and I curl my fingers around the cold metal.
The smell of roast beef dances around my nostrils and I push the gate open and crunch down the path I long ago gave up any right to walk upon.
I crouch before the window and peer at the picture perfect family sitting around the table and wonder if they miss me at all.
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Read the other entries here.
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I wonder what he/she did to give up the right to walk up that path. That’s a great way of putting it. Good job.
Thanks Sandra. I needed about 200 more words for this one!
ah no……I love stories that leave you thinking and wondering!
Thanks Lillian.
This has a great feel of winter just by the contrast between the lights in the house, the smell of the beef and the cold of the latch. The person is clearly on the outside and out in the cold. Great atmosphere and feeling, in just a few words.
Thanks Mick. I’m feeling wintery this morning. (Is that even a word?)
Wintery is a great word and has got me thinking, of all the seasons it is the one with most contrast between the cold of the outside and the cosiness of indoors. Regret explores that on several levels. It’s really well done.
I love that we don’t know the whys of his/her giving up the right. There is a definite sadness there.
Thanks Dale.
There’s definitely a bigger story here. Very well written!
Thanks Caerlynn.
Dear Louise,
I feel the regret and find myself wanting this person to knock on the door. Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
The ghost of Christmas past? Great writing, full of active words. A teacher in an online course I took once called them ‘sexy verbs.’
That’s very sad. You described the scene and your protagonist’s feelings perfectly.
Thanks 🙂
Someone needs to write a happy-field-mouse piece. All these ‘outsider’ tales!
Now there’s an idea 🙂
I liked the way you wove his/her longing to be a part of what was going on inside.
It gave me the feeling of a lonely Christmas for the character. Perhaps, a family falling out.
I liked you story very much even though it is sad.
Isadora 😎
Much appreciated Isadora.
i guess s/he should knock at the door. who knows? they need somebody to wash the dishes. 🙂
You wrote a lot in a few words. I like the imagery.
Very engaging read that leaves you wanting more.
Shades of the Prodigal Son, or in this case, Daughter. They’ve already killed the fatted calf. I bet they’d be more welcoming than she thinks.
I hope so. Thanks for reading.
Will s/he open the door?
DJ
Sadly not.
I love to read your stories… the never ending sentences… wish I could do that, I’ve tried.
This one cut to the heart.
Thanks so much Ted.
Oh, this is amazing. The flow of the words is like a river, rushing at you.
Thanks very much Lore.
Wonderful and haunting. I especially love the aroma in the poem….it adds to the wondering and gives a specific detail that appeals to one of our senses so often overlooked.
Very much enjoyed this one! Happy Friday fellow writer 🙂
Thank you very much and a happy Friday to you too 🙂
Well done. AS Mick said, the story has a wonderful contrast of warm and inviting and cold and forbidding.
Thanks Alicia.
Lighted windows are so evocative. Great story.
Thanks very much.
I really got the feeling that the character felt like an outsider looking in. Sad, but effectively told. Nice one, Louise.
Thanks very much Amy.
I don’t see a happy ending to this story! Well done!
Me neither! Thanks for reading.
You give us so much here, Louise, and leave just as much for us to imagine. Love that! Really beautifully written.
Thanks Dawn. Much appreciated.
Since this person’s come that far, they should see if things have changed. Well done, Louise. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thanks Suzanne. Perhaps they’ll be brave.