Flash Fiction – Friends in high places

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Image J Hardy Carroll

 

‘Wanna play hide and seek?’

‘We can’t. We have to wait here while Mama says goodbye to Grandpa.’

‘How can she say goodbye when he’s not here anymore?’

‘Mama says he’s watching over us.’

‘He can see everything we do?’

‘Yep.’

‘Even if we’re naughty?’

‘Yep.’

‘Will he be cross?’

‘No. He’s an angel now and angels don’t get cross. But he’ll probably tell Santa Claus if we’re bad.’

‘Grandpa knows Santa?’

‘Sure. That’s why he always disappeared when Santa came with the presents. He was feeding the reindeers cos he knows them.’

‘I’m gonna be so good this year.’

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Read the other entries here. 

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76 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – Friends in high places

  1. I thought this was really fun. Great dialogue, and a convincing one between two children. C – I think I would’ve enjoyed a little bit of description, although the story is great as is. I think “Cos” could be more correctly written as a contraction of “because” by writing, ” ’cause “. A very enjoyable story!

  2. C – the voices of this pair are wonderful – very engaging and sweet.
    My only criticism would be about the sentence about the reindeer. It’s wordiness seems to break up the rhythm of the rest.
    Good emphasis in the last line.
    A lovely piece.

Constructive criticism appreciated

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