Flash Fiction – Take a chance

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I pull into the layby, fish a tissue from the glove-box. In our early days I’d stop here on my way home to fix my make-up, wanting to look my best for you – now I pull in here to cry.

A rainbow streaks the sky. I used to believe there’d be a pot of gold at the end, used to believe in so many things; the man in the moon; wishing upon a star. I used to believe in you.

The lights of the bus loom closer. Take a chance. I leap from my car and flag it down. It’s time to start again.

 

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Read the other entries here.

Today Rochelle is celebrating three years as facilitator of this challenge (congratulations!) and has asked us for our thoughts. Friday Fictioneers was the first thing I ever did on WordPress and I was so scared to post my first story. The feedback I received during my early attempts was invaluable (I often muddled tenses among many other things)! Participation in this challenge has tightened my writing and sparked a creativity I didn’t know I had. A huge thank you to Rochelle for giving me the confidence and the space to grow.

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58 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – Take a chance

  1. Dear Louise,

    Like Sandra, I wondered about her leaving the car. But it added to the spontaneity of her decision and had me rooting for her new beginning. Vivid and energetic piece.

    Thank you for your feedback, both on my site and here. I’m happy to hear that FF has done for you what it has done for me. As I get back into the third novel of my trilogy that I started before FF I can see how my writing has progressed as a result.

    Glad you have you aboard.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. I can see the spontaneity of her actions has caused a rift! If it was me I’d just take the car and go, buses are a pain in the ass. That said I enjoyed the mood of the story. See you next week!

  3. some decisions can be so spontaneous that they make no sense on firt thought. whether they’re right or wrong, it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s how we deal with them that does.

  4. Such a moving story! “I used to believe in you” is laden with such sadness! And that rainbow, which made her think of sad things, also heralds change — she gives in to impulse, flags down that bus, and starts all over again.
    LOVED it!

Constructive criticism appreciated

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