I’ve used the F word several times since I started writing my novel last year.
No, not that F word. The other one, you know (whispers) finished.
I first thought I had a complete and perfectly good manuscript earlier this year. OK, it wasn’t exactly fitting into the genre I want to write in (I changed my mind towards the end) and I didn’t have the confidence to write my preferred tense but I told myself it was a great first attempt, that my next book would be better.
It took a few weeks (I am a little slow) before I realised that I’m the writer. It didn’t have to be that way. I changed the tense, cut 35,000 words from the end and crafted it into something I was genuinely proud of. It went out to Beta Readers and I’ve edited and polished until it’s as sparkly as a Christmas fairy.
‘I’ve finished,’ I announced. ‘Really, this time.’ And I thought I had. Until today.
I’ve read through the first three chapters in lieu of starting my submission package and my fingers hovered and twitched over the keyboard until I found myself changing things, again.
So my question is this. Are you ever really finished? Is there always going to be things you wish you had phrased differently, weaved into your story?
Will I ever be able to say the F word and mean it?