Flash Fiction – Mirror, Mirror.

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The bell tinkles – a customer.

You flick through old books, turn plates upside down.

My stomach twists as you spot the tarnished mirror.

I scream at you to leave. I scream until my ears ring and my throat burns but it’s too late.

You apply lipstick in the streaked glass and smack your lips together once, twice.

I stand shoulder to shoulder with your bewildered reflection. We watch through the glass as you walk towards the door, patting your handbag as if reassuring yourself you haven’t left anything behind. You won’t realise what’s missing. Not yet.

‘Come,’ I say to the mirror you. ‘Come and meet the rest of us.’

 

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt.

My inspiration this week came from the metal ornament. I wondered what it would be like to be frozen in time, unable to communicate with those in front of you.

The first draft of this story originally stood at 236 words. It was a hard one to cut. I hope it still makes sense.

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60 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – Mirror, Mirror.

  1. it must be tough indeed not being able to communicate with anyone. it’s like being in a coma. you’re helplessly aware of what’s going on but those around you are not aware that you are.

  2. Wow, you cut it down from 236 to 100? You should post the original. I’m curious how it would be different. I know how hard it is to decide what to cut. I like this story. Well done.
    -David

  3. I love this, it had me “ooooh!?” in the end, and that’s a sign that this can be the seed of many great stories, at least in my book. Creepy and mysterious, and I think that’s the miracle of flash fiction at its best. I admire your cutting it down–and I bet the cutting made it better as a stand-alone, even if it doesn’t tell us all the details. You could go anywhere from there.

  4. Mirrors are sneaky at the best of times, the way they steal your reflection for a lifetime and show you your face as a reversal of what everyone else sees, unless those people are looking in the same mirror at the same moment as you. Now it seems, they’re up to real high jinxes stealing more than just reflections.
    A fabulous take on the photo prompt. Well written.
    PS There might be a small proof error in the dialogue tag of the last sentence, or maybe I’m not quite getting something. Do you want the word “you” and the word “mirror”?

  5. I loved this. Genuinely creepy (leaving part of you trapped in the mirror – soul perhaps? shudder), and I’m not easily creeped. I think what gives me the shivers is the idea that these people might be here forever – immortality is terrifying if you think about it.
    Great stuff.

  6. This is a great story with a wonderfully creepy vibe. I immediately had two thoughts: 1) how helpless the soul trapped in the mirror must feel watching “itself” walk away and 2) at what point does the “self” realize what is missing and what happens then? Very well done and I would love to see this expanded into a longer story 🙂

Constructive criticism appreciated

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