Flash fiction – Rise and fall

garden-maze

 

The pain comes harder and faster and just when I think I can’t possibly bear anymore, just when it feels I might actually die there is respite. A momentary silence.

I shake off hands that hold me and try to move legs that feel weak and powerless. Blood pounds in my ears. Sweat trickles between my breasts. Breath catches in my throat, sobs blocking the question I dare not ask. My head shakes away thoughts that it has happened again.

After an interminable time you cry, and are handed to me. I watch your chest rise and fall. You are amazing. You are mine.

 

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Read the other entries here

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52 thoughts on “Flash fiction – Rise and fall

  1. I love this. With an initial Apgar score of 1, my oldest required CPR in the delivery room, so that “after an interminable time, you cry” part really hit home. You don’t realize how precious a first cry is until it doesn’t come. Well done.

  2. Having never experienced childbirth it took me a few reads to realize what you were writing about. I really like your metaphorical interpretation of a maze. I can imagine how having a baby, especially with the uncertainty of a first-time mother, might be (must be?) like walking through a maze.

  3. I love the way you describe the immensity of pain and effort, then the dread that something might be wrong wrong . . . and finally the elation of relief and joy that the little being you have birthed is just perfect. The succession of emotions that most mothers must experience. Beautifuuly written. 🙂

  4. This went in a very surprising direction. When I read it a second time, the sentence, My head shakes away thoughts that it has happened again. leapt out at me. Then it was time to breathe a sigh of relief when I realised what was happening.

  5. I love it when someone’s interpretation of a prompt heads off in a completely different direction to that which is expected. Wonderful, I really enjoyed this.

Constructive criticism appreciated

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