You tug pristine shirts from hangers and crumple them into a case.
‘Please don’t go.’ I hear the tremor in my voice.
‘I don’t want to.’ You sit on the bed and run your thumb over my cheekbone. ‘I want you, I want us. I’m just not ready for this.’ You gesture towards my stomach.
‘I’m tired of fighting.’
‘Me too.’ You kiss the top of my head. ‘Shall I make the appointment?’
‘No. Don’t.’ My words are loud and clear.
Your eyes lock onto mine. I blink back unshed tears and dig my nails into my palms as I watch you leave.
Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt. Read the other entries here.
fabricating fiction 
Love the vividness, I can see the scene unfold as I read this!
Thanks 🙂
I thought this was very powerful. I was seething that he took her ‘me too’ as agreement for the deed. To get the reader’s dander up in 100 words is pretty good going, I think.
Thanks Sandra. I don’t think he expected to actually have to leave.
Isn’t “me too” the man’s line? i.e. she is tired of fighting and he says “me too”?
Yes it is.
Absolute Brilliance! 🙂
Thanks so much!
Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be male if indeed this is how some men really act 😦
Oh I think women can have their moments too. Neither sex is all good or all bad.
Like! Essay, AND comment. 😯
Louise,
This is an exceptionally well-written flash. Good work. You packed a lot into the story, made it clear what the argument involves, all without being overly explicit.
All my best,
Marie Gail
I really appreciate your cooments Marie. Thanks.
Really good. I wanted to smack him and good for her!
janet
Would serve him right!
Me too, Janet. You hold him and I’ll whack him good with my walking stick – what a jerk!
I’d like to see that!
LOL
A really fine piece of writing – dialogue, tension, story – perfect.
Claire
Thanks Claire.
Very powerful and emotional.
Thank you.
There are good reason that men should not have any power to decide in a question like this.. she’s better off without that jerk… just make him pay support.
Absolutely.
Awesome, in my opinion. Dude’s a bastard! 😦 Just sayin’, fiction or not.
He sure is, thanks Robert.
Dear Louise,
I’d like to stand in line to deck this guy. Very well written. Not a line or word out of place.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks 🙂
My Mum always said it’s a good actor who can make you hate them. It’s a good writer who can awaken your anger and make you hate the “bad guy” — you did this beautifully, Louise.
Thank you Lyn.
Some things hurt, and are unresolvable. At least at the moment.
realistic, sad, and written intimately in its own way.
Thank you.
“Shall I make the appointment”?
Ugh — made me want to slap the guy. It’s doubtful that she feels lucky – but how lucky she is to be rid of him. Well-written — very well-written.
Thanks. She is better off without him.
Dear Louise,
A fabulous piece of writing. All I wanted to say was ‘Don’t let the screen door hit you on the way out.’ What is it with men who want the fun but not the work. Someone once told me that you pay for your thrills. He needs to man up and pay the piper. Well told tale.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. He has a lot of growing up to do!
Poor woman, and what a nasty chap. A very well written and powerful story.
I loved that there was as much going on underneath as there was on top, great job 🙂
Thank you Helen.
Nicely told, very sad circumstance. Your words, and hers, are loud and clear. Alicia
Thanks Alicia.
a well-written piece. i felt the emotion portrayed in the story.
Thanks.
Powerful story with plenty of tension and high emotion – you hit the mark, well written.
Thanks Maree
Brutal on the emotions. Really well written this week.
This will be popular (wait, let me check… yep, it already is :))
Cheers
KT
I appreciate that 🙂
Long term she’s the winner. Nice writing.
She is. Thanks.
Excellent carriage of a full range of emotion. The reader is the lucky one here.
I hope she’ll have a good cry and move on without him. Doesn’t sound like he’ll be changing anytime soon…great 100 words!
Ellespeth
Thanks Ellespeth. She’s a strong one.
Oh boy! What a cad! You’ve shown the pain here, really powerfully. His tender gestures belie his true nature – hard as a rock.
He isn’t very nice! Thanks for reading Margaret.
Powerfully written. Must admit, the style of the story had me reading it a couple of times, but once I got the flow, it was very good
Thanks.
Wow, well I suppose if it is fair for a woman to choose it should also be fair for a man.
A unpalatable, but true point. 😉
I’m sure this happens every day.
Sharp, edgy, vivid story telling. I really felt this story. Great job!
There have been a few pregnancy stories this week… I’m curious: what in the prompt took you there? I’m intrigued. Again excellent story this week!
Has there? The first thing I noticed was the tyres and I thought how exhausted I feel at the moment. Hence the ‘I’m tired’ line.
I’ve read a couple now with pregnant women, and just wondered what the prompt sparked. Thanks for expanding.
Beautifully written, you managed to encompass an array of emotions.
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is destruction.” I’d say he destructed and destroyed everything in his path because of his selfishness. Bravo!
Thanks 🙂
Good for her! Well written.
Thank you
Most welcome.