Urine and sweat hung in the air. The smell of a new life. I gripped my sister’s slick hand. Stomachs rumbled in the darkness. It could have been hours or days since we had eaten. Time had ceased to exist the moment we traded our savings for promises, exchanging hope for lies.
The truck stopped. I was propelled forward. Blood mingled with perspiration, dripping into my gaping mouth.
The shutters sprang open. Light burned my eyes.
‘Girls we only want girls.’
We were herded out like animals and huddled beneath the neon Sex Club sign.
My new home. The land of the free.
Written for Friday Fictioneers. A short story inspired by a photo prompt.
fabricating fiction 
Louise- Powerful story.
Thank you.
Thanks for drawing attention to human trafficking and modern slavery. We all need to speak up, use our eyes, report it and end it
Absolutely. It’s sickening.
Open Doors reported today that Canadian soldiers had rescued 87 people in Nigeria this week who had been abducted by Boko Harum for trafficking. Thank God they were rescued. The A21 Campaign and Hope for Justice are also working hard to try and rescue victims of Modern Slavery
Isn’t it dreadful that this still goes on? Well written story.
It’s horrific.
You’ve written a powerful story about a horrifying and tragic subject. Well done! “Land of the free,” is the perfect ironic ending.
Thanks. Not an easy thing to write about.
Dear Louise, This is a wonderful story. Human Trafficking is horrible and is running rampid through the loose excuse of Coyotes kidnapping girls. I’m so sorry for them and believe me, I’ve called 911 more than once when I saw something suspicious. Great job! Nan 🙂
Good for you. Too many people turn a blind eye to too many things.
Terrifyingly true! Well done.
Thanks Sandra.
Great story and very true-to-life. There have been stories in the news the last couple of days about human trafficking and people coming across the channel in the back of a lorry.
A terrible crime.
Thanks. I can’t imagine how anyone could be callous enough to get involved but so many do.
Oh dear! So disturbing, because it’s so true. Well done. 🙂
Thanks. It is a sensitive subject.
Massive impact. A horrible tale. We read it the news far too frequently. There’s a lot of evil about.
There is Patrick but more good people than bad thankfully.
I love how the first two sentences could have been describing all sorts of places – I was thinking a labour room at first, and in a way it was, but not how I was expecting. What an awful thing human trafficing is. A great story to highlight it, and well written.
Thank you Claire.
a very sad, powerful and frightening story. very true.
Sadly so.
That happens for real. It’s really sad.
Brilliant take on the prompt.!
My Breakthrough
Thanks very much.
Fantastic! (Not the subject, but the writing.) It’s vivid and graceful, and punch you in the gut raw.
Thank you Melanie.
Such a devastating way to crush hopes.. human trafficking just show how revolting humanity can be.
Shockingly so.
Scary…because it happens all too often.
Sadly so.
Makes me mad and rightfully so. Great indictment on human trafficking, Louise! You made it real.
Thanks.
A very realistic portrayal of a horrible subject.
Thank you for your comment.
Difficult to click like here…crisp and well written piece.
How did the writing retreat go? Did the flooding cancel it?
Ellespeth
Yes a horrific subject matter. The retreat was interesting!
Good to hear! I’d enjoy hearing about it….I was so envious that you were going to stay in a castle – a dream of mine since I was a little girl 🙂
Ellespeth
Mine too but the dream was far better than the reality!
Powerfully written!
Thank you Ankush.
Louise, This is a horror story, but sadly not fiction. Good people in the world need to keep up the pressure to stop this evil. Sadly, there’s a lot of money to be made, and so the horrible practice continues. A hard-hitting story and well written. —Susan
Thanks Susan. It’s horrific this still goes on.
Very real. I felt their fear.
Lily
Thank you Lily
Great stuff, dark and visceral, nice writing touches, opening that grabs you, confident writing…good work…:-)
Much appreciated Stephen.
Powerful and sad story. Not so free after all. Nice job!
Thanks Amy
Sad, scary and unfortunately taking place in the real word far too often.
“Land of the free” was indeed a great way to end the story.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Dear Louise,
Stunning and powerful. Brava!
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks very much Rochelle.
Your choice of words is brilliant, resulting in a powerful and vivid story.
Thanks. Much appreciated.
Powerful stuff – Good work!
Thanks Sean.
This is very strong – it was difficult to hit the like button because of its contents and the powerful way you portray the horrendous situation the girls are in. Well done.
Thanks Sarah. It wasn’t easy to write.
I like how you used “land of the free” to make this piece hit home
Thanks Dawn.
I particularly like this line, which I think really sums up the desperation the character feels: “Time had ceased to exist the moment we traded our savings for promises” – because the terrible situation she finds herself in is unchanging and has no end in sight.
A lot of story in just a few paragraphs. Heart wrenching .