I clutch the developer’s letter tightly, my knuckles snow white. The words stick in my throat. A hard ball of fury ignites inside my stomach.
‘Surely they can’t force us out, my love, we have been here 30 years.’
I had danced for you in this room, clumsily removing clothes as you averted disbelieving eyes. Hot shame burned through me as I tried to salvage our fledgling relationship. I had danced while you lay on the ground, scarlet blood oozing from your gaping chest.
I hear the trucks approaching. I swallow handfuls of pills and dance one last time.
Written for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt.
fabricating fiction 
Oh my, you painted a vivid picture of expired love, shame, desperation…Really good story.
Thanks very much 🙂
Dear FF,
A little bit of crazy going on here. The developers are going to find more than they bargained for. Insanely well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
I feel a bit crazy today. 2 day migraine so wasn’t sure it made any sense! Thanks.
Migraines are wicked. I assure you you were coherent. 😉
Hope your head is better, I’ve never had migraines, but my sister gets them. Miserable things.
Thanks Alicia.
A lot was happening, but you are a true, true writer in your blood, dealing with two entirely separate storylines in 100 words. The description alone was superb, and the dancing – wonderful stuff. You need more than 100 words to carry it though, the story is too good, clever and complex to be boxed down.
Thanks so much Hamish. I am a new writer and your words mean a lot.
I really enjoyed the way the destruction of the house is parallelled in the destruction of the relationship. Both so violent. Good story.
Thank you Karen.
The ordeals in a lost future driving you to murder suicide… truly a last dance.
Thanks 🙂
It made perfect sense. (ref. your comment to Rochelle) It is tragic and so well written.
I hope you are feeling better.
Thanks Lynda. Just need a good sleep now I think.
I liked this, though like Hamish I thought there was a lot going on for 100 words. Being thrown out of the house by the developers, murder (?), suicide, a broken love affair. It’s very powerful though, and bears reading several times to savour the essence.
Thanks Sandra. Yes a bit of murder this week. It’s been too long!
Great flow here and not a spare word in sight! Nice one!
Going to have to agree with Hamish and Sandra, though your migraine might explain this (I suffer through them myself, so I know how you feel, poor thing) — you’ve captured merely a snapshot. Would love to see you develop this into something of a couple thousand words or more.
Thanks Helena. Yes there is a longer story to be told there.
Well done – the ending really “snapped” me.
Wondered about clutching the developer’s letter tightly with snow white knuckles, sounds like she is holding the paper in her knuckles (perhaps too picky of me to mention.)
Ah, yes, that wasn’t the original sentence but ran way over the word count this week so manically chopped bits out here and there.
Those pills had better work for her. Life will be too much otherwise.
I think she is no more!
Powerful. Wow. 🙂
Such vivid imagery and powerful words. I loved the metaphorical take on the prompt. Well done!
Thank you Maree.
Looks like they won’t be leaving after all. Great story!
They will be haunting the site! Thank you.
wow very strong images. that was truly dark and insane.
If you thought it was dark it really must be 🙂
I envy the way you write! I wish I could write so beautifully as you do! Powerful emotions you’ve wrapped up there FF!
Thank you so much. Friday Fictioneers is improving my writing I think 🙂
Love the metaphorical take on the photo prompt. Sombre and dark.
Thank 🙂
Such powerful imagery and story telling. The metaphors are compelling; the story comes alive in your telling. Wonderful!
I appreciate that. Thank you.
WOW!
Thanks Lyn 🙂
FF, Tragic but well written. Good use of description; I could see the scene. Well done. I hope you’re feeling better soon. I sometimes get migraines. 🙂 —Susan
Thanks very much Susan. All good now.
Thanks Susan. All good now 🙂
I thought the story was going to turn dark and smouldering as you brought the underlying sexuality to the fore. Then you killed the guy off. Good Job!
Thanks very much.
Dear F.F. I love the story and it is either a murder for requited love or suicide and whichever it is – you did a fine job with it. I hope your migraines get better. I used to get them at least once a month. But honestly, your story is top-notch and could be the opening scene of a mystery! Nan 🙂
Thank you very much Nan. I’m glad you liked it. Migraine all better now.
A sad end. What an insane dance…
The developers will raze the house for a building where I hope no ghosts will dance…
I suspect they might!
I really enjoyed this – think you did an excellent job of stitching together a lengthy, weird and finally violent relationship out of a clutch of memorable phrases.
Thanks very much.
This is such a teasing piece. I really want to know more about their relationship. With her last act and the developers, we aren’t going to get to know. (As I wrote that, I realise we don’t know it’s a woman – assume so from the dancing, but equally it could be a man, and now I’m even more intrigued.) Well done.
Thanks Sarah. Yes it was a woman (or could have been a drunk man)!
Enjoyed the intertwining of two narratives. Aren’t drabbles (100-word stories) a fantastic form of microfiction. I find they often point the way to the potential of a longer piece, but don’t lose the form – it is meant to be tight!
Thanks very much. I really enjoy writing (and reading) them.