Friday Fictioneers – Rammed

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I yanked the steering wheel hard left praying I wouldn’t tip. The black car screeched behind me but remained on my tail. My heart rate doubled in five seconds flat. I had to lose him. I thrust my foot to the floor and weaved in and out of the traffic.

There was a vehicle blocking my path ahead. I slammed on the brakes. The black car rammed into me. My screams drowned out the crunch of bumpers colliding.

‘That was awesome,’ my brother said, jumping out of the black dodgem. ‘Wanna go again?’

‘Think I’ll watch this time.’ I exited the ride on shaky legs.

 

Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 word story inspired by a photo prompt.

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62 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Rammed

  1. Dear Ms. Fiction,

    Outstanding use of the prompt. Your story brings back memories. In my day that was all the driver education we ever received. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Well, you sure had me fooled with this one 😮 Excellent twist in the tale. If you’d have ended it before we found out it was a bumper car, you could have strung us on for ages with the suspense. We’d have been clamouring for more 😀

  3. Such a build-up of tension, and such a lovely release 🙂
    I recently brought my children to a funfair and watching them play on the dodgems brought me right back to my own childhood, first with my brother ramming me as in your story, and later with friends as I got into my teenage years

  4. Bumper cars used to scare me almost to death. There’s really no escape for her:( I liked her brother’s ‘wanna go again?” line 😛 can see your imagination was in high gear for this one!
    Ellespeth

  5. At first I thought you were going along the lines of an old short story by Orson Scott Card, but for a flash fiction, I prefer the ending you chose. “That was awesome!” totally caught me off guard, but I completely commiserate with your heroine. I have too many childhood memories of being the kid stuck in the corner of the Dodgem ride while everyone else spun round and smashed into me.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

Constructive criticism appreciated

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