‘Ed!’ he looks up guilty, slamming shut the laptop. His pyjama clad wife glares at him, hands on hips. ‘Its gone midnight, what the hell are you doing on that thing?’
‘Looking at porn, umm sorry.’ Ed blurts out.
‘No surprises there then,’ she spits and thumps back to bed.
Feeling smug at his quick thinking he opens up the lid and continues arranging Sarah’s 40th party. He wants to surprise her. He doesn’t think she realises how much he loves her.
Upstairs, tears dripping from her cheeks, Sarah pulls a suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and starts packing.
Written for Friday Fictioneers, a 100 word story based on a photo prompt.
fabricating fiction 
I always love a twist in a tale.
Me too!
Well intended lie but probably not the smartest thing he’s ever said 🙂
No, he’s a bit of an idiot but a good heart.
Oh, that’s so sad and sweet! I agree with the other commenter: he should have said something more like: “My boss gave me loads of extra work today.” or “I had to get to my emails! I have 2,000.” However, if that wasn’t a normal thing to say, it might cause some suspicion.
I think he just panicked and wanted to get rid of her as quickly as possible.
Probably. I would love to hear a sequel!
A good story. Sometimes a lie will cause more consequences than you can ever imagine. I wasn’t sure about half of it being in first person, and the last part in third. It was a big jump for me.
Thanks for the feedback Claire. I wanted to do something a bit more lighthearted this week so the story ended but then I realised I had 15 words left so tagged the last line on. You are right, I will change.
Oh, dear! Poor Ed, not a practiced liar.
You constructed a great twist ending…well done!!!
That’s a point in his favour 🙂
Oh no, I had an awful feeling something like that was going to happen as I read through your story 😦
I hope he manages to rescue the situation (though he should think before he speaks in future!).
Or not speak!
Oh, this broke my heart. I hope he breaks the truth in a more tactful way so that hopefully, the party will still be a hit. I do feel bad for the guy, but this is one of those situations where preparation is key! 🙂 Thanks for bringing a smile to my day!
Thanks so much.
What we have here is a failure to communicate!
Big time!
Not the best excuse he could have come up with. In fact, quite possibly the worst. 🙂
Ooh you got me thinking of worse ones now!
Dear FF,
What we have here is a failure to communicate. I agree with Sandra. He probably should’ve thought of a better excuse. Very well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle.
Dear Fabulousricator,
That was a killer story that makes me want to hold in intervention. Getting the audience worked up for or against your characters (in this case, both, both ways for both) is exactly what a good writer should strive to do. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Much appreciated.
He will, after all, have surprised her I’m hoping. This way or that. Poor guy.
I think so.
my face wen from 😐 to 🙂 to 😥
very realistic character portrayal of Ed and Sarah I would say !
Thanks Horus.
Excellent.
Reminded me of Saki.
Thanks.
Ouch! A hundred times over.
For them both!
Oh my! I have a feeling he’s going to work his way out of this 🙂 I really liked this!
Ellespeth
Thanks Ellespeth.
Good story. I hope he can think of something to stop her from leaving, hopefully without giving away the secret of the party. Poor man. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
He’s an idiot Susan but a well meaning one!
Superb piece of writing.
Characters brought to life in a snapshot of a marriage.
AnElephant loves it.
Great compliment coming from someone as talented as you. Thanks 🙂
Very clever twist! When he said he was looking at porn I was thinking ‘why doesn’t he just lie?’ and then when it turned out he wasn’t looking at porn I immediately switched to ‘why did he lie!’ So you’ve entertained me and shown me up for the big hypocrite I am, all in 100 words!
😀
Thanks very much.
You have to be very, very careful when telling white lies such as this! Very clever, since how many men would readily tell their wives that they were looking at porn?
Stupid ones? 😉
😉
he’s not very smart, is he? 🙂 i hope he runs after her and everything turns out fine
I think there’s a lot of love on both sides. They’ll be fine.
Quick thinking didn’t help much… Nice twist. Who’s going to surprise who in the end?
Think they will both be shocked!
Nice.
Thanks Ted.
Oh dear, I fear he is the one who is in for a surprise! And he will probably feel very hard done by …
I love the non-meeting of minds here – Ed thinks he has been so quick-witted but has in fact hastened an end that he never saw coming.
Very cleverly written
Thanks Ade.
this poor man caught by surprise and makes a terrible situation happen. may it turn for the better. enjoyed your story.
Thank you.
Oh no! This is why you should never plan a surprise party!
Lucky I’m too lazy too 🙂
Wow – I agree with Horus above. I sure hope one of them listens to reason. 40th birthday parties are a hoot. We had a mock funeral at one (I wrote the skits for 5 of them). Even made her angel wings with a halo. Some of the guys gave her a 4 bu_ _ salute. You know – just stupid things- Poor Sarah is upstairs packing her bags, tears rolling down her cheeks. I do think he should of said, “Hey I’m looking at some famous Japanese art – almost done honey!” would have been so much better. You are really a good writer! Thanks, Nan 🙂
Thanks Nan – your parties sound awesome!