Please make it stop

 

Oh God, please make the world stop spinning. I’m so sorry I drank that last drink. I’ll be very good from now on. Clean living all the way. I’ll do anything you ask, if you just make it stop.

My stomach lurches and I lower my head clutching the edges of the plastic seat so tightly my knuckles turn white. I groan. Never, ever again. I mean it this time. I absolutely do. I promise.

I am distantly aware of the thumping music, the laughter, the party atmosphere. Is everyone having a good time but me?

It isn’t fair. I feel so alone. Quit punishing me God. I know I shouldn’t be out with a boy, accepting his drinks, his compliments. I have learnt my lesson this time. I want to go home. More than anything. Stop the world please, it doesn’t feel natural. I want to feel like me again.

My head feels heavy and my stomach feels like a washing machine. I am sure I weigh 1000 pounds. Am I dribbling? I want to lie down and never, ever move.

Please God.

Slowly the world becomes stationary again. My prayers have been answered. The waltzer has stopped. Chris held out his hand and helped me off. “Another can of coke”? he asked.

I threw up all over his shoes.